Boycotts

The boycott is an essential tool of capitalism. It allows the consumers to control the market by making choices on moral grounds as well as on cost, quality, and the attractiveness of marketing. Admittedly, for the big players this would have to be done on a massive scale in order to be effective, and for big companies like Coca-Cola or countries like China with their hands in practically everything it is virtually impossible, so it is a far from perfect check. But one of the biggest hurdles is that people don't realise that it is an acceptable thing to do. When I have mentioned that I am boycotting the Greene King pub and brewery chain because they buy up historic pubs and turn them into flats, when there are plenty of people willing to run them as pubs, just to reduce competition, I often get confused responses. Peaple say, "but I thought you were in favour of capitalism/the free market?" Of course I am. But the boycott is not against capitalism, it is the heart and soul of it. It's your money. No one is forcing you to give it to someone you don't like (except, of course, the state).

I have a number of boycotts running at the moment, usually for less than high-minded reasons, but the principle is the same. I don't like them, therefore they're not getting my money.

I am boycotting Greene King for the reason stated above. They also buy up small breweries and stop making their beers, or move production out of the historic brewery to a central location and thus irrevocably change the flavour, often after making explicit but non-binding promises not to. This is unnacceptable.

I am boycotting Cafe Nero because they tried to shut down the most awesome coffee shop in Oxford, Combibos Coffee in Gloucester Green, owned and staffed by people who I did not know at first but who have become friends over the years that I have been a regular, and have recently turned out to be the cousins of another friend of mine. It's a wonderful, one-of-a-kind little place. Cafe Nero opened a shop next door to try to draw customers away from Combibos. Luckily, they've failed; Combibos is always full and the Nero is usually empty, but they are still bitches for trying. Also, their coffee tastes like gasoline.

I am boycotting Prat a Manger for their obnoxious and patronising advertisements and attitude. I had originally decided to boycott them for their advert that claimed that there were no "scary 'beep beep' noises" in the production of their food. I relaxed the boycott at the insistence of Auriol, who likes their granola, so I was in the shop to see the message which they had posted by the sandwiches. It read something like, "We asked over a hundred French and Italian women how English women can stop being so fat. We took their advice, and the result is these sandwiches!" Prat, go fuck yourself.

I am boycotting Krispy Kreme, which is not that difficult because their 'donuts' are awful. They must be brought down because they have usurped the name of donut with the proliferation of their sickly-sweet, textureless creations. Places which might once have offered proper donuts are now swamped with these unnaturally smooth abominations. Dunkin' Donuts manages to do terrific donuts and bagels, and yet the execreble Krispy Kreme cannot even manage the one. They are a stain on the face of the junk food retail market.

I am boycotting a number of psuedoacademics and political commentators such as Edward Said, Michael Moore, and Noam Chomsky. I still read and/or own their stuff, as you need to be familiar with whatever dangerous nonsense they're currently spewing, but I always make sure to get used copies or borrow them from the library or lefty friends so that they or their estates don't get any of my money.